“Ashleigh’s always making new friends,” is a sentence that I can hear my mom say as though I’m saying it myself. I used to believe that she wasn’t quite right; I didn’t feel like I really made too many “friends” because anyone I did speak with seemed to attach to me, but I didn’t attach too strongly to them. It happened several times throughout my adolescence that I didn’t attach while others did. And I did attach to a couple of folks that I probably shouldn’t have (which, of course, was all a part of the path and supposed to happen, but still.)
So, something that I wrote down about a year ago was “make time for best friends, good friends, all friends, and acquaintances.” Not in the sense of just going to go, but going to learn from various people and paths.
And through that thought I’ve met some winners. I’ve met some gems. I’ve met a couple of people that I never thought I would be texting or writing to constantly, or snapping pictures with, or telling my deepest darkest current affairs to. But…with the thought of “open yourself up”, I’ve found peace and people that have changed my life for the better.
I think the first and foremost person I must talk about is Devan. She’s such a light. I had breakfast with her this morning. She helped me through one of the most intense break ups of my life; she cried with me, held my hand, I’m almost positive she prayed for me heavily, and I know that she felt my pain and lifted some of it off as her burden. Because that’s simply the person she is. I didn’t want her to have my burden, but with a person and soul like Devan…she just takes it. No questions asked; she takes it and handles it and never breaks down for a moment. And as I learned today through our private conversations, she’s been doing it since she could talk.
Gena cat is the next lovely soul on my list. I’ve had breakfast with her twice. We cackle too much, drink too much coffee, and relish in how great the other is at listening. We build each other up and we seem to enjoy each other’s company very much. She has a spirit of love and generosity. She doesn’t take without giving something. I didn’t think we would ever talk outside of little ol’ Vitalize, but everytime I would stop by I would find my heart uplifted by her sweet demeanor. She’s had some difficult times, but she’s blooming and it’s so noticeable.
Lastly, but certainly never least, there is Brittany. The girl that whipped into my life as silently as the wind, but my heart crashed (and still crashes) continuously with love that is as strong as the ocean current. Our whole relationship began because she wanted to listen to me. Her. She. She wanted to listen to me. I thought little miss Brittany was too cool for me and that she would never be interested in hanging out or grabbing lunch or skipping class. But we did. Senior year was a season that I will never forget. If she wasn’t at my house, I was at hers or we were texting and making plans. We talked for hours without relent. And if there was relent, it was a comfortable soul-like silence. I would say somehow she turned into my best friend and my soulmate, but honestly she didn’t “turn into” anything. She already was all of these things, but our souls just hadn’t reconnected yet. If we both wouldn’t have been open to a strange, new relationship where we had to build, and communicate, and learn more about each other, then she wouldn’t be the girl that has three different sets of matching pajamas with me (all because its a tradition that my mom buys them for us when we decorate the Christmas tree). She wouldn’t be in my phone as ‘my beloved’ and she certainly wouldn’t have been next to me every step of the way through the past three-ish years of my life. For you, a thousand times over, B.